The Love They Never Had

Guilt, anger, sarcasm and happiness. Those were the emotions that he went through in just a few moment as I tended to him as much as I could. I made sure he was warm, fed, bathed, and that he had everything that he needed and I still couldn't help but to notice just how...lonely he was, to quickly go through a number of emotions so quickly without even thinking about it. But why couldn't he see that I was lonely as well? I was constantly being separated from the only man who saved me, who knew my life and who made me feel as comfortable as he did. He was the only person I could let my guard down with, the only person who could make my smile without having to do anything and the only person to make me feel safe and protected, even when he got angry and lost control. "Young Mistress, the maid is waiting for you in your quarters." "I will be there shortly. Treat her to some tea in the meantime. What on earth happened to my flowers?" "The maids...they..." "this plan has been drawn out for far too long now. They should all be out of there by the end of the week before I start to loose my mind."

"So, what tasks do you do?" "I can only do manual labour since all of the better jobs have been snatched up by the senior maids and their families. And since I have a lot of free time, I try to help the others when I can." "In what jobs?" 'Gardening; I will help the servants plow the soil and water the plants, I only really know how to do tasks that require manual strengths." "You are quite a capable and effect person, I see that now. The eastern courtyard garden is in fact quite barren, it is a part of the home that the Master Nam does not let anyone see. So I am thinking of letting you have the honour to fix it up and win the manner's approval. And with your honourable personality and various skillset, you may even become the head of all the servants here with various benefits to your job title." "Are you serious madame? It is just that gardening will require a lot of expenses, and I have never held onto such an important task before...I fear that I might embarrass you..." "and how will you know for sure if you have never tried before?" "It is just that I do not know the market well. If I accidentally buy expensive products, it will just add to the list of expenses, and if I buy the wrong things, then I will cause this manor to loose face." "As long as you set your thoughts in an upright manner, whoever dares to criticise you and ignores your commands will not be spared by myself or the young masters of this manor." "Thank you madame, since you are willing to trust me, then I will surely do my best to give this manor some face."

"Despite your new promotion, the senior maids are sill well-experienced and respected in this village, they are amicable and good-tempered. So she has to be respected, unless you have proof that shows otherwise. Do you understand?" "Yes madame, thank you madame." "Young Mistress?" "I have just given this woman a huge fat task, surely everyone will know where the wind will blow to now."

The banquet was being set up with just a few hours to go, and there was already another dispute breaking out between the maids for everyone to see. And I was really surprised to not witnessing Nam-Jeon lording his social status all over us when he had the chance to. It looked like Seon-Ho was really a lot more persuasive than even I thought possible, and I was honestly impressed by it. "Let me tell you! Even if you report this to the Young Mistress, I shall not acknowledge it!" "Do you really think that you are worth something to the Young Mistress just because of your seniority? A noblewoman like her doesn't even need to stoop to your level, and yet the minute you turn around, you act as if you belong to the same family! Stop committing such deeds, or nobody can help you when karma hits you!" "I am also from a noble home! What can you all do to me!" "Exactly! Speaking of being from a noble manor, you didn't even hesitate to make use of your own daughter by trying to seduce the Young Master over and over again! Can't you take the hint! If he hasn't bedded her by now, then that means he is not interested in her! So stop trying! Who can't see through that? And when the Young Mistress finds out, then you will be the first to go!" "TheYoung Mistress? Who is that? We have concubine..." "Who? Which concubine? The concubine who has been too busy mismanaging the other maids to even pay any attention to us? And let me tell you, if she knew that your daughter was trying to steal the Young Mistress from her, then she would punish you even more." The louder the commotion got, the more we could hear the villagers gathering around the home and having their own opinions of what was going on in the prestigious Nam household. "There are always fights going on in this household, ever since the Master appointed his son a concubine." "Well, it looks like she must be totally incompetent, she cannot even keep the maids in line since she used to be one herself." "What a shame, such a prestigious household is now ridiculously chaotic." "Small rebukes today will turn into crimes sooner or later." "Everyone says it is the senior maids who are causing all of these fights." "And I thought she had a decent reputation, how can I possibly trust her now?"

From what I was able to gather, the banquet was a complete disaster. Nam-Jeon got so furious over the whole debacle of the maids that he poured out his frustration over her in front of the family who had sent her as a spy in the first place, leaving them all as equally angry and ashamed and he was. That was what I was told, anyways. As for what really happened, well, how could I miss out on such a good show? Of course I had to see the results of my hard work for myself when I took the initiative to climb a tree just far away enough from them where I couldn't be seen.

"Were the concubines that I sent over to you useful at all?" "You were considerate enough to send them over to me, of course, I have been putting all of the most able ones to work. I thank you for it." "Thank me? Then what about all of the fights that have been playing out in front of the entire village to hear about it almost every day this week now? And if they really are is honest and capable as you say they are why are they rumoured to call all of these fights? Haven't you given them work yet, so they can stay out of trouble?" "I...I have heard that most of them are elderly with sickly bodies, and I...thought they would tire themselves out...but the Young Mistress?" "What? Which Young Mistress? You are the only Young Mistress here in this household. And they are well-experienced, you can still make some use of them. You should be smart enough to at least give them small and yet honourable jobs." "My Lady, this is actually the issue that I am having now; to weigh up my options and still being unable to decide in the name of fairness. I do not wish to be responsible for any bad judgments...." "And yet, you're lack of decision making has thrown both families into being the subject of constant gossip all over the village!" "I...forgive me, I..." "you have made everyone think that we had spitefully given you weak and elderly servants to sabotage you on purpose!" Watching the concubine sweat and tremble under all of the insults she was receiving on my behalf really was a sight to see, but not more than the sight than Seon-Ho smiling so widely at all of this that he didn't know what to do with himself. No matter who and what he was, he was still rather cute. For someone like him, anyways.

"Who on earth doesn't know that you have a Bodhisvitta-like heart? Who would dare to question or criticise you? And even if they do, no-one will dare to believe them?" "Our family's reputation is more important! Just because you have been sent to a new family, it doesn't mean that you forget the previous one that you served! And if you lack anything, you can just ask me for it since the family you currently serve doesn't seem to care about such issues. And there are even rumours that you accept all sorts of gifts that the Young Master Nam is sent by his colleagues without even inquiring about it!" "No! He just put them in my room! I just..." "this is the first time that I am hearing about such a thing. So it is my own concubine that steals my gifts? Is that so? You really are desperate to destroy my family's reputation, aren't you?" "Please! You are all misunderstanding the situation! I was only informed that the imperial court was stable, and if I do not accept all of the gifts on his behalf, he could very well make enemies over nothing..." "Well then, it looks like you have been misinformed. Must you publicly humiliate me like this?" "But I could also be accused of forming alliances if I nitpick though everything! So I only accepted them all but I haven't even opened a single one! And it isn't like my husband hasn't earned it with his hard work! He himself has achieved merit through his sword! And it has been hard for him! I may not fully understand, the principle of a political marriage, but I did not expect for you to send me spies from your home!" "You uncouth, illiterate and foolish woman! What husband do you have! You haven't even had a marriage ceremony yet! And hwo dare you accuse me of sending you spies! I only said a few things, and you have 10 responses waiting for me each and every time!"

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If I personally had not witnessed today's chaotic banquet for myself, I really would not have believed it. I knew that the Nam master's had always suspected me of being a spy myself, but I had already exhausted myself long ago by doing everything in my power to stop suspecting me. But now I was starting to have my own suspicions, that in he young master's eyes, I was nothing more than the official replacement of the woman that this family that they were determined to hide. She wasn't even allowed to attend functions like these and she was the one who insisted that I keep my husband's gifts to myself, only to set me up in a situation where I was to take the blame for her actions. No, now that I had seen the truth of the trap that I had walked into myself, I had to find a way out. But not before I exacted my revenge on the woman who was hell-bent on ruining my life.

"Liars! They are all liars! In terms of my birth and looks, how am I any different than that orphaned brat! So how am I still no match for her! Why is her life better than mine! Why is she favoured more than myself! I am his concubine, not her!" "My Lady, please calm down! Men like the young master dislike women with swollen eyes!" "That bitch! Just you wait and see when I complete my investigation! Just wait until I tear you apart from your so-called cousin that you cannot stop seducing! Just you wait!"