The Young Consort Wants to Live Quietly

Chapter 101

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At those words, my eyes widened. Just yesterday, they sent me petitions telling me to comfort the baby.

“When?”

“It seems he disappeared during the night. They went to pay their morning respects, but he was gone.”

Didn’t he just move on his own? He wasn’t a newborn baby who couldn’t even hold his head up. Maybe he didn’t disappear by laughing, but simply moved somewhere on his own.

“Couldn’t the baby have moved on his own?”

“The baby only cries and doesn’t move. He really disappeared.”

A firm answer came back. I awkwardly watched everyone rejoicing, saying there would be a good harvest next year.

Why did he leave in such a hurry? I couldn’t even say goodbye, and above all…

‘I wanted to see his smiling face.’

Maybe I grew attached to him because he looked human-like. I felt strangely unsettled. Anyway, he must have returned well. Even better if there’s a good harvest next year.

Returning to my room, I opened the window. The fragrant scent of flowers that had been wafting for the past few days was all gone. Feeling like I had been dreaming, I sat in a chair to write a reply.

As I unfolded the paper and was about to grind the ink, I saw Gowun standing blankly in a corner and hesitated. Although Gowun and I are almost always together, I would always send him out when writing letters.

Once ‘Sanya’ received help, it became impossible to completely hide it, but if he saw the contents of the letter, it would be revealed that she was a different person.

About to issue an order to leave, I suddenly remembered something and asked.

“Gowun, have you ever seen the baby disappear?”

It’s not a sight that comes every year, but since he’s been in the palace longer than me, I thought he might know. However, Gowun shook his head with a puzzled face.

“Didn’t you see it yesterday, Your Highness?”

Those nonchalant words made me break out in a cold sweat. Yesterday, while I was awake, I didn’t go to see the child.

“You went to Flower Dragon Palace in the middle of the night.”

“You went to meet the baby. You told me to wait in front of the main hall and went in alone, but…”

I tried to speak calmly, and Gowun poured out his words. His eyes shook anxiously.

Gowun makes a desperate face when talking about Sanya at night. As if he wants me to remember. But what can I do? She’s actually a different person.

“Maybe I was a bit tired. I don’t remember well.”

Unable to say that, I made an excuse.

After hurriedly sending Gowun out, I quietly held the brush.

What change of heart did ‘Sanya’ have after seeing that child yesterday?

I don’t know why she suddenly asks me if I’m happy, but…

Happiness is a very complex emotion. No, I’m not even sure if it can be called an emotion in the first place. But if someone asks me now if I’m happy, I already have an answer prepared.

[Yes. I’m happy.]

I wrote that without hesitation. I wondered if it was right for me to tell a child who had been unhappy all her life that I was happy, but that was my honest answer.

It was a bit different from joy. Actually, I couldn’t even explain it. Ordinary daily life. Days that are sometimes fun, sad, and angry. And the people I love and who love me. Among those things, at some point, I had become very naturally happy.

In this life that this child had given up, that had been this child’s. So I couldn’t just brush off that question.

I’m happy.

Are you?

After thinking for a long time, I ended up not writing that question and sealed the letter.

The day I wrote that letter was a very ordinary day.

Perhaps because we were promised a good harvest next year, the meals were a bit more luxurious, and since it was the day Seoryeon was supposed to come, I went to see Choeun with her.

Choeun grumbled but received us, and Seoryeon was smiling with flushed cheeks when we left. After such an ordinary day passed, the next day I received a reply.

[Then that’s good.]

That was the sentence written on the very first line.

I thought we had become a bit close, but she was still an incomprehensible child.

If I’m happy, then it’s good?

[I won’t write letters anymore. I’m going to try to fall asleep now.

Thank you for the short time.

Take care.]

And what followed was a sudden farewell.

What the hell happened in these few days that she’s suddenly like this?

[What do you mean?

Falling asleep. Suddenly?]

I wrote a reply right away. Falling asleep seems to mean that this child will disappear, but it’s the first time I’ve heard that she can decide her own existence.

Is she really just going to sleep at night without doing anything?

I slowly suppressed my unnecessarily impatient heart.

Still, a reply will come tomorrow morning. If something upset her, I’ll apologize and hear the whole story.

But the next day, the letter placed by my pillow was still the one I had written. Since ‘Sanya’s handwriting resembled mine, it looked exactly like the one she wrote. But the content didn’t change.

There was a time before when a letter didn’t come, so I waited one more day.

But the result was the same. Two days, three days after that. No matter how long I waited, no reply came, and I was confused.

It really seems like she disappeared.

One day, when I gave up counting the dates, I folded the tattered letter that I had opened so many times and left the room.

“Your Highness…”

But the faces of the palace maids were a bit strange. They all had a look of being moved. When I wondered what happened in the morning, Seoyeon, who had a relatively calm face, told me.

“The Noble Consort and Consort Seonbi are here, what should we do?”

Mirinae and Garam?

What brings them here so early in the morning? Thinking that, I still told Seoyeon to guide them in. It seemed okay even though I didn’t change my sleeping clothes.

“Sanya.”

As the door opened, I saw Mirinae jumping up from his chair. Garam, who had been trembling, also got up a beat late.

“What brings you here so early in the morning?”

At that question, Mirinae smiled awkwardly. He lowered his body and spread his arms to me.

“Can you come here for a moment?”

I was puzzled but still fell into Mirinae’s arms, and Mirinae, who carefully hugged me, sang a small song. A feeling of warmth rising from my feet. A unique song.

‘Ability?’

I’m not in pain, so why all of a sudden?

Mirinae, who released me from his embrace as I was dumbfounded, stroked my hair. Those eyes were affectionate.

“It seems you’re really okay now, baby.”

As soon as he finished speaking, there was a sound of sniffling.

Garam is crying…?

“What is it?”

Unable to endure this strangely heartwarming atmosphere any longer, I finally asked.

Mirinae, as if understanding my confusion, stroked my head a few more times and said,

“You don’t wake up and wander around at night anymore.”

Those words left me dazed. Not knowing was even stranger. The palace maids kept watch, and if there was anything abnormal about me, they would report it to Mother and the others. Above all, since Mother knew, I thought Mirinae would know too. What surprised me was a different part.

‘You don’t wake up and wander around at night anymore.’

I had been secretly thinking that ‘Sanya’ just stopped replying. But those words mean ‘Sanya’ has really disappeared.

Garam approached me with reddened eyes. His rough and large hand carefully covered my small hand.

“Thank goodness, you brat.”

Everyone didn’t show it to me, but they were very worried. Seeing Garam, whose body was huge but scrunching his face like flour dough, I quietly exhaled.

‘Sanya’ disappeared just as she first appeared. I still don’t know why she asked me that or what she meant by it being okay, but now I won’t be able to get an answer.

As I was comforting the crying Garam, urgent footsteps were heard outside the door. Soon the door opened, and a white-haired woman appeared.

“Sanya.”

It was Mother.

I patted Garam’s shoulder two more times and walked to Mother. Mother spread her arms, and I fell into that embrace.

Mother hugged me without saying a word. Still, I could tell everyone felt the same way. The person who should receive this comfort and relief wasn’t me.

Still, if that child remains even a little in this body, I hope it reaches her.

Was the night you were briefly awake a comfort to you? It would have been better if you could feel this warmth too.

I closed my eyes, feeling a bit of regret.

Still, it’s fortunate. You, who always looked sad, are now truly asleep.