Suspiciously Close Siblings (Going Up)

The words were slick, but they weren't meant to be taken seriously.

All this time, she realized, she had been making all sorts of excuses and thinking too naive.

Because I drank that day,

It's because I got my ears bitten that day,

Then what about that morning?

Chuseok a week ago.

I'm not the kind of person who goes mad over a few glasses of soju.

Of course I was drunk

Winter to the body.

At the sticky body temperature,

In the eyes of the gaze,

And on the chest.

If I didn't have that kind of heart, if I wanted to keep the promise of living as siblings for the rest of my life,

Maybe you could control it

I could have pushed you not to climb on,

At least I wouldn't have hugged her too tightly.

But it didn't.

To this day, I remember my older brother's words as I left my aunt's house.

'You are an elder. ⋯That's good. By-self. Hyung won't be messy.'

My responsibility, whatever I choose,

Whatever I feel is my responsibility,

It seems crazy.

In fact, the simple answer is right in front of your eyes.

Haven't heard of it yet.

It's because everyone is comfortable if you just close your mind.

Except me and winter.

Being unable to consult with anyone was an element that harmed the mind more than I could have imagined.

If it was a simple matter like unrequited love or fighting with my girlfriend, it wouldn't have been so serious.

I don't think I like winter in a romantic sense yet.

I am,

My little brother is precious to me like crazy.

As a family.

I want to monopolize myself for the rest of my life.

It is also true that we are attracted to and react to them rationally.

But,

I wasn't bold enough to be prepared for anything.

This contradictory mind,

It was slowly eating away at my brain.

"Brother."

"⋯."

"⋯Brother?"

"Ah, uh. Huh. Why."

"Are you okay?"

"⋯It's okay."

It seems that he was wearing a very serious expression.

Winter, who was sitting next to me, moved his lips slightly and called me.

"Go home. I have an appointment."

"Promise?"

"My friends said let's eat."

"Yes."

"Study hard."

"⋯Call me when you come."

"Okay."

After getting out of the passenger seat, I followed the snow with my legs.

After passing through the common porch and disappearing from sight, I got out of the driver's seat.

⋯ You shouldn't be driving a car.

It's obvious if you don't look.

***

"Oh, winter. Ruler?"

"⋯Did you drink?"

"How did you know?"

"Because you have a strange voice."

"I drank some."

"⋯When are you coming back?"

"I'm waiting for the subway right now. On my way back."

"Where?"

"Hongdae entrance. Go within an hour."

"Yes."

"It's late, so go to bed. Even if tomorrow is the weekend."

"⋯Okay."

I was waiting for the train in an alert state, and I remembered what I said earlier, so I called Winter.

⋯I'm glad the last train wasn't late.

The grand ambition to quit drinking had long since disappeared.

I noticed that it doesn't matter whether I drink or not.

"⋯Who are you?"

"Uh… That's…"

"Girlfriend?"

"⋯ Not yet."

"Then what is it?"

"I know."

A friend who was waiting for the subway together spit out a word.

⋯Sure.

What is it

She found it difficult to at least reveal that she was her sister.

Even if I told you to die, I didn't believe it

I got a little more understanding now.

"Well, anyway, I'm going. Because it's the other way around."

"Okay, go in."

"See you later."

After her friend disappeared into the crowd, being alone felt a bit clearer.

⋯ Ha.

She had been thinking about going to counseling because she was drunk.

Really, I can't even die.

It's too obvious what you're going to hear.

If I was a church member like my eldest uncle, I would have gone to the confessional room.

No, wouldn't the priests be astonished to hear it?

⋯ It's frustrating.

After waiting for a while, she got on the subway she arrived at.

She clutched her phone with her free hand, leaning into her rattling handle.

⋯ Come to think of it, I didn't even take a single picture.

She was so attached, but when she looked through her cell phone, there were only pictures of the food they ate together.

⋯ Am I an idiot, really?

Looking at her galleries to see her sister's face, she must be drunk.

***

"I'm home."

"⋯Oh, son. I'm here?"

Her mother, who had been dozing with her TV on in the living room, greeted me rubbing her eyes.

⋯Go in and get some sleep.

Even if the duvets were rolled out, the bed would be better than the floor.

"Yes."

"Rice is?"

"I ate."

"Okay. Ooh, I forgot to doze off the TV. Wash up and go to bed."

"Mom, go in and sleep."

"Mom, make the TV a bit better."

"⋯Yes."

Leaving her yawning mother behind, I trudged toward my room.

For a moment, the next room was annoying, but I held it in.

I grabbed the doorknob and turned it lightly.

I went inside and turned on the light,

"⋯What is it?"

"⋯."

Winter is wearing an eyepatch,

I was lying curled up in my bed.

"⋯ Hey."

"⋯."

"What?"

"⋯."

He walked over and shook his body slightly, but there was no response.

⋯.

"Kim Winter."

"⋯."

"You said let's keep our distance for two months."

"⋯."

Since my mother is in the living room, she quietly whispered in my ear.

But it didn't happen.

⋯ Ha.

Driving me crazy.

"⋯I'll wash up, so go back to your room."

"⋯."

With only a change of clothes in hand, I turned off the light and left the room.

In that moment, I saw the face of my mother who had fallen asleep again.

She let out a big sigh and went into the bathroom.

The pounding of my heart was louder than the sound of the water flowing.

I felt like I was sweating even in the shower.

I wiped the water off with a towel.

She put on her short sleeves and shorts that she had brought.

Brushing her hair feels like her clothes are damp again.

Please,

Let's wait for two months.

If you wait for two months,

⋯.

What will be different

I threw her laundry in the basket and went back to my room.

I turned on the desk stand,

⋯Still lying down.

Locati that I always wear.

I only bought three copies, but it seems that some of mine were stolen before I knew it.

Otherwise, I can't wear it every day.

Black Dolphin Pants.

Thighs visible underneath.

Is it because I lay down last time?

Because I remember that feeling,

I couldn't keep my eyes off it.

"⋯ Hey."

"⋯."

"You wear pajamas when you sleep. I know you don't sleep."

"⋯."

⋯He swallowed heavily.

You can pick it up and put it in your room.

But her mother is sleeping in her living room.

Won't you be heard

Then just lie down next to me and sleep.

⋯ Can't be

Fuck you gonna

He locked the door.

I drank today, so it's a really good day.

I have a lot of excuses.

It was wrong from the moment I said that I would keep my distance in the first place.

It means you're already conscious.

You won

I am an impatient person

I was right that I was wrong.

Winter lay beside him.

I always look at them from the front or from the side, but seeing them from behind like this is a strange feeling.

I lightly touched my hair.

He brought it to his nose and smelled it.

The smell of shampoo I always smelled.

I use the same shampoo, but I don't always know why it smells different.

Is it because the genders are different?

I let go of the hair I was holding and grabbed my shoulder.

He pulled it lightly and put his nose on the nape of his neck.

⋯ It's sweet.

He put his hand under his side.

The sound of flesh and clothes brushing against each other is frighteningly loud.

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her stomach.

When I put my heart on my back, I could feel my heart pounding.

⋯It's hot.

Even after washing with cold water, the fever did not go away.

He slipped his lost left arm into his T-shirt.

It is surprisingly soft.

You must have been born to the same parents.

It's completely different from my skin.

When I touched his back lightly, his body trembled slightly.

⋯.

He ran his thumb lightly along his spine.

The waist is slightly stretched.

He removed his hand and touched his ear this time.

It was hot.

I slightly raised my head.

I lightly bit my ear.

⋯I thought I knew why I was biting my ears like that.

I didn't use it because I couldn't leave a mark.

Lightly,

Like biting with your lips,

Sometimes the tongue

Savored it slowly

After tasting enough, it fell from the ear.

Her cheeks were so red that even an idiot could tell.

He put his right hand inside his clothes.

When I stroked it lightly with my palm, I felt my navel.

Ignored it and went upstairs.

The ribs were slightly palpable.

⋯ Whoa.

Withdrew his hand

Instead, he wrapped his arms around his T-shirt.

Hugged her tightly

Soft,

It was heavy.

Intertwined legs and legs.

Still pretending to sleep.

I rubbed my body lightly, keeping my whole body in close contact.

⋯I can't even make excuses anymore.

It seems to explode.

In many ways.

How long have you been hugging me like that?

I no longer felt the smell of the shampoo, probably because my sense of smell had adapted to it.

Instead,

A slightly sweeter smell filled my nostrils.

I brushed my hair over my face.

His lips touched the exposed nape of his neck, which was slightly moist.

Licked lightly

My body trembled again.

Breathing is rough

Me too,

Winter too.

And hot.

Breath,

Body temperature,

Sweat too.

After turning Kyeollyi upside down, he climbed on top.

While still holding on.

My arm was crushed, but it didn't matter.

My brain burned with the pressure I felt between my chest and the bed.

⋯.

No way,

I just couldn't stand it.

Really,

No way

Fell.

I immediately ran to the bathroom.

Undressed her and took a shower.

⋯I didn't need lotion or foam cleansing.

How many days have I endured?

No It's been over a month.

I was ashamed to be caught at first,

Because of trauma, for many reasons.

It's more than I couldn't stand it.

But for the past week,

It's not that I didn't

I'm patient

I think of it every time I try to do it.

When I release the accumulated lust,

My heart felt like it would explode.

Legs tremble.

If I pushed it, I would have made a moaning sound.

Finally, I barely endured that much.

Instead, I couldn't stand the shortness of breath.

When I went back after washing my body, there was no one in the bed.

⋯Good thing.

I had to change clothes.

She took off her slightly wet clothes and put on new ones.

She lay in bed,

The lingering warmth made her unable to sleep.

After a couple of more quenchings,

I was finally able to fall asleep.

⋯I took another shower.

Fortunately, her mother was sound asleep.